| A Personal Message to all Ladies
From the Owner of National Blacklist (updated May 20, 2008)
Hello Ladies,
Since we started in 2005, we have received lots of questions from many of you wanting to know who owns National Blacklist, who runs the website, and why we don't screen memberships to verified escorts only, and why we have our data base of "bad clients" open, publicly accessible, and fully spiderable by the search engines?
So I write to you here my story so that you all to know how I came up with National Blacklist and why we do things with this website the way we do, so you will know why our strategy is more effective in making our industry safer for all ladies.
Much has to do with my upbringing and the values that were role modeled for me by my parents. I grew up in a small town in the Mid-west, and every Sunday morning over breakfast my father would read the public safety blotter in the Sunday Newspaper. It posted all the people in town and around the county who got arrested in the past week for all sorts of wrong doing...
- Teenagers breaking in our high school and vandalizing it with spray paint
- Anyone caught drinking and driving
- Shop lifters who were caught stealing clothes or liquor.
- Partiers for blaring their music to loud late at night and disturbing the peace
- Rowdy guys who got busted for bar fighting.
... you get the idea.
One of the things that always caught my attention was how my parents and the neighbors used to gossip about, and of course later shun, some of these people depending on the severity of what they did wrong. I remember one time they read about a man they all knew for years who was arrested for domestic violence. Of course back in those days it was just slapping around or beating up your wife, but you know what I'm talking about. Anyway, the words of disgust that came from my folks was enough turn your stomach.
The embarrassment and shame this man brought to himself being known as a "wife beater" brought him much public scorn. The man eventually lost his job at the factory, neighbors and old friends would avoid him. My folks taught us that people are judged by the company they keep, and many of our town folk avoided the man and no longer wanted to be associated with him because they didn't want to look like they supported him and what he did wrong.
Sunday mornings were always interesting. Sometimes my parents would read something from the Police Blotter and yell out to me and my brother, "You better not do nothing like that and bring no shame on us, . we'll disown you if you ever embarrass us like that."
Those words always stuck with me. The power of disappointing your family and loved ones was a powerful deterrent to misbehaving.
Years later when I moved away to Los Angeles and began secretly working as an escort, I always remembered to be careful with who I booked, and respectful to my clients no matter how offensive they might have been, so that I wouldn't provoke him into doing anything what would get out of hand and possibly bring any unnecessary harm, attention, or shame to me or my family.
When I first broke into the business, for years I worked with agencies. I was usually pretty safe because all the agencies had been in business for a long time and had lengthy DNS lists consisting of prank callers, time wasters, no shows, constant last minute cancellers, drunk and surly assholes, drug users, aggressive and rough guys, rapists, guys who'd stalk you, short you, rob you, you name it. The game players, con artists, and scammers were endless.
Of course every once in a while I, or another girl, would still get shorted or roughed up a little, and I always wondered if these guys would behave so badly if they knew there was a chance their wives, family, or coworkers, could find out, that they were not only seeing escorts, but that they were abusing them by robbing them, beating them up, or even worse, raping them?
I wondered if they ever thought there was a chance for them to be exposed publicly, would they still risk mistreating us ladies?
It wasn't until I started going out on my own as an independent and I no longer had access to the agency's DNS lists that it hit me about having a communal data base website where all independent ladies and agencies from around the country could contribute to and share with each other bad client information for the mutual benefit of us all.
Sad, that none of the agencies worked together, or wanted to share their lists with each other. The only real losers were us girls.
So when I came up with the idea to make National Blacklist early in 2005, we explored the ways to make it more effective so it would be a legitimate safety tool for all escorts by making the threat of being posted here a real fear and a meaningful deterrent for the bad guys who might have something to lose if they were publicly exposed.
As I wrestled with these questions, it became obvious to me that National Blacklist had to be publicly accessible. With the half dozen emails we average each week from men pleading with us and yes even threatening us to remove them from the website before their family or employers find out, this completely reaffirms our decision that our philosophy of fear works. It strikes real fear in these men, and hopefully the fear of being publicly outted and exposed by our website to family and coworkers can actually make them think twice and behave better and respect you ladies so that you'll all be safer.
Psychologists the Legal Experts agree that the way to deter bad behavior is to have consequences that are severe enough that wrong doers actually have something valuable to lose so they respect it and fear it.
So, paralleling the tactic that many police and government agencies from all over the World have used for decades, posting names of wrong doers on crime blotters, this became our chosen method of consequence, to publicly expose the offenders. In order to impose the fear of embarrassing shame on our bad customers by exposing them to their families, their neighbors, and their co workers in their community we decided this policy was the most effective in protecting ALL escorts from getting hurt in the first place, by taking an approach that will actually make men stop and worry about the risk of mistreating another lady so he doesn't do it in the first place and wind up on our website.
According to two other websites I've seen, they believe these abuser's identities and incident reports should be protected and hidden away on their private members "escort only" websites, leaving the bad guys to roam free to victimize other escorts. What a crock of shit! and self serving business plan.
While National Blacklist doesn't openly publicize the reports and postings we certainly don't hide them nor protect them from the search engines either. Many men have googled their name only to see in the search results, a link to a National Blacklist report regarding them. And that's when the panic sets in. The fear of being discovered by family, friends, employers, etc. is what now has them frightened.
We want the badguys to know in advance that they can be posted and discovered on National Blacklist, and if that fear causes them to refrain from booking escorts or abusing them, then great, we've done our job to make our industry safer for all of you ladies. And isn't that what we're all really after? To actually stop the violence and abuse so it never happens to us in the first place?
Dramatic Examples from other Industries
Seinfeld actor, Michael Richards, who played "Kramer" exploded in anger as he performed on stage at the Laugh Factory, a famous L.A. comedy club last year. Upset at some hecklers Richards began hurling vulgar racial epithets that left the crowd gasping and in such total horror that they all got up and walked out in disgust. When an audience member recorded the incident with their cell phone and put the video on the internet for all to see, the Laugh Factory management immediately banned Richards from their comedy club, and Richard's acting and entertaining career instantly stalled as he was immediately shunned by all. Richards was last seen in Cambodia taking rest and retreat to do some soul searching and "find himself" and ponder his life.
Then it happened to television bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman who's popular TV show was pulled off the air by A&E, two days after a private phone argument he had with his son was publicized. During Chapman's tirade he used the N-word repeatedly in referring to his son's black girlfriend. Copies of that taped conversation were posted online and Dog was "dogged" by immediately suffered the costly consequences in losing his popular TV show.
This Clearly Demonstrates the Power of Public Opinion!
Had Michael Richards and Dog Chapman's antics remained private nothing would have happened to them. Their attitudes and behaviors would not have ever been discovered and they would have gone on doing their thing with no repercussions. But because both were publicly aired, the embarrassment from overwhelming public disapproval forced the entertainment industry to make a public statement of disapproval that most likely cost both of these men their lucrative careers. If the Laugh Factory and A& E network didn't act quickly and decisively, they would have also suffered financially by losing customers who would have punished them for not taking appropriate action.
The power of "negative" public opinion can change and alter behaviors and beliefs. It can ruin reputations, end careers, and even define most people's lives and legacies. Presidents like Richard Nixon resigned because of the Wategate Scandal. Bill Clinton was impeached over the Monica Lewinsky Scandal. Movies, Actors, Theater Productions, Restaurants, all live and die off of public opinion. Was it a rave? Or was it a dud? Seriously Ladies, don't be afraid to use your power! Be empowered, and don’t let any bad customer make you a victim.
Devasting Consequences are Powerful Deterrents
I don't know about you, but I hate it when bad guys mindlessly act out, or intentionally and maliciously defraud and hurt us girls. I feel they have to suffer some substantial consequence or they won't learn their lesson and they'll just continue on with their bad ways. If we "allow" ourselves to stay victims, and don't kid yourself ladies, we do have a choice, because by doing nothing we are giving in and enabling the bad guys and actually giving them permission to keep abusing us.
Maybe you feel you have a legitimate fear. You are scared it would come back on you, or that they might retaliate some how. That's an inner gut check and a character decision we all face ladies. You'll have to look deep inside and find out what YOU are made of. But you should know that if bad men are not scared of any consequences, or forced to suffer some meaningful and devastating repercussions, they will never stop what they're doing. Your weakness, or strength of character will influence your decisions, and your ultimate choices. You either decide to stay part of the problem, or become part of the solution.
I decided to become part of the solution. Today National Blacklist is the largest bad client data base. It is fast and easy to use and it is affordable for all escorts and agencies so that it can be used as a coveted tool to help protect your valuable time, and your safety. It doesn't matter what city you are in, or what city a caller is visiting from. No matter where you live or travel, a bad client's information is just a mouse click away allowing you to have more confidence and control over your bookings.
National Blacklist is not for everyone!
If you fear retaliation by a bad client, then you will have to do what your heart tells you and subscribe to what ever escort safety site you feel best fits your values and needs. But you should know, if you succumb to fear, you will be doing exactly what the abuser wants. And if you live in fear, you let the bad guys win. But, if you have the courage to stand up and defend your self, and the strength to come to the aid and help defend other escorts as well, (by taking back control and shouting out loud that you will not tolerate being disrespected and mistreated anymore), then please by all means, make your postings to National Blacklist and help us with our mission to make our industry safer for all escorts. The bigger and more well known National Blacklist becomes the more effective we will be in making escorting safer for all ladies.
Personal safety is a deeply personal issue. I respect your right to make your own decisions regarding your personal safety, according to your beliefs and values.
What ever you chose.
My Sincerest Best Wishes, and Please Remember to Be Safe out there.
Crystal
Owner of National Blacklist
(and a former escort) |
